Author’s note: This is about the thoughts that ran through Xena’s mind as she was killed in Japa.
Dedications: This story is for Del – who helped me post my very first fiction on her site and encouraging me. Thanks Del; I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. This story is also for all those writers and Xena fans – the show might’ve ended, it doesn’t mean that the club has to end too.
Warnings:
Sex: There is nothing graphic in this story. And if you’re sure that offends you, you should never have even started watching Xena: Warrior Princess.
Subtext: Nope, this story only has Xena and Gabrielle as friends, nothing more, and nothing less.
Language: Nay. I’m known for being an angel from Heaven. Unless you consider calling Livia the ‘bitch’ of Rome, there is nothing you need to worry about in this story. There might be a few words here and there – but not much.
Violence: No, I’ve decided that I’m not the one for writing action. There is something but there’s no exact description about it.
The words in Italic are thoughts.
Last Thoughts
By Shri
I can see them approaching. The Chinese, armed to the teeth. I have to delay them; I have to give Gabrielle some time. This is where I have to use those ‘many skills’ I’ve prided myself on for all these years. I know that they outnumber me a thousand to one. But still, I fight from my position up the tree. My mind wanders to Gabrielle, who’s leading the allies here. I can’t believe that I’m having her lead armies for me. She’s been the guiding light, which makes me who I am. She was and is the reason for my belief in the greater good. She was how this life of mine began. Friendship, I never had believed in it until she came along. Its’ always been fascinating how she can make me forget my past in a second. She’s had that quality from the moment I laid eyes on her. She had an aura of innocence around her. And now she’s leading an army.
I think that Ares would plainly be shocked. Ah yes, Ares. He’s the one person who’s known me my entire life – From the moment I was born. How ironic, if only Ares could see me now…the ‘blonde bard’ as he calls her, leading an army to war. I wonder if he knows what I’m doing right now. I wonder if he knows that I’m going against an entire army on my own. I’ve done it before with the Persians, and I did defeat them. Maybe I can do it again with this army. I’m sure he was watching then, but I doubt that he’s doing it now. I even doubt whether he can, considering that I am in Chin. Ouch! Wonderful. An arrow grazed my arm. Damn it! If Ares were here, he’d be scolding me for lack of concentration. Gods, I don’t think that I’ve ever felt so tired. Not even when I was fighting all of Olympus.
Olympus – it’s another familiar name. Olympus is the reason that I’m here right now. I know that I defeated them only because Ares helped me. If he hadn’t, I’d be in Tartarus with Hades taunting me for an eternity. And again, my mind comes back to him.
He’s been on my mind a lot lately. With his confession of love, he finally got to my head. I’m sure he’s proud of himself. Another arrow pierces through me. If this keeps up, I’m going to be kebab in no time. Great, now I have trouble breathing, and Ares is still the only thing on my mind. Another arrow pierces my thigh; I cant even run up into the tree anymore. My vision is becoming foggy. But instead of the battle, I see some other picture. Ares – trying to get me framed for murder by pulling his very first stunt on me after I left him. Then a picture came from the thing with the furies. There arose the question whether he was my father. Another one comes to me; Ares had switched my body with Callisto. Painful memories wash over me as I lie on the ground writhing in pain making the moment even more painful than it already is. Then, come the moments with my own daughter Eve. No, it wasn’t my daughter then, it was Livia – the bitch of Rome. The memories of all the ways that he had tried to black mail me into giving him a child. Then the time that he admitted to Athena that he had a ‘thing’ for me. The time on the farm, the moment when Ares had regained his God hood. Then, a painful memory, more so than the others, comes to me. Ares as he stood in front of me asking me whether I had felt nothing in the temple. I answering his question in a negative answer, all the while my heart broke inside me. I can feel the life being drained out of me now. a warrior is approaching to battle me. Ares, I don’t know if you can hear me, but I wanted to say this to you. I’ve wanted to tell you this for a long time now. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I lied to back then. I did feel something. But I’m sure that you heard me confess it. The warrior’s blows are getting too hard to block. My sword is getting too heavy to carry anymore. Ares, I want to apologize for never giving us a chance. I’m so sorry for every thing that’s happened to you because of me. I get on my knees as I drop my sword. The warrior moves his sword to behead me. Ares, I’ll be gone in a few more seconds. I want you to know that I’ll always love you. No matter what happens. I love you…
Please e-mail the author of this story with your comments. xena2001in@hotmail.com